The blame that was placed on you by your half-sister and mother for the divorce and break-up of the family likely added to the already significant burden of trauma and emotional pain you were carrying. It's understandable that these experiences may have impacted your ability to commit to long-term goals or remain in jobs for extended periods.
It's important to acknowledge that experiences of trauma and abuse can have a profound impact on a person's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, even if they also have positive experiences and interests. It's possible that the abusive part of your childhood influenced the way you thought about yourself, others, and the world around you.
For example, you may have developed beliefs about yourself as someone who deserved to be mistreated or who was not worthy of love and care. You may have also developed a mistrust of others or a sense of isolation, even if you had close friends and enjoyable activities. Additionally, the trauma and stress of your childhood experiences may have impacted your ability to regulate your emotions, leading to impulsive or risky behaviors like quitting jobs or joining the military.
Despite the challenges and difficulties you faced in your childhood and beyond, it's important to remember that you are a survivor who has overcome significant obstacles. You have shown resilience and strength in the face of adversity, and have pursued your interests and passions despite setbacks.
While it's understandable that you may feel discouraged or frustrated at times, it's important to recognize that you have the capacity to create a fulfilling and meaningful life for yourself. You have unique talents and abilities, and the potential to achieve your goals and aspirations. It may take time and effort to work through the effects of your childhood experiences, but it's possible to heal and grow with the right support.
